I shared about this on my Instagram recently, but I thought it warranted sharing here. We as women struggle with feeling beautiful – or maybe you don’t, so let’s claim it – I do. I struggle. And the reason is that when I look in the mirror I see all the flaws. And working in a class, it was pointed out to me that I need to own my beauty or no one else will. So that’s what I’m working on. And let me tell you, it isn’t easy. There are so many beautiful women I see around me, and they carry it easily. And I think is that we, or again I, don’t see myself in that category. So, how do you own something you don’t see?
Well, I guess that’s where books help. I’m sure i’m not the only one who has struggled with this – and I found that out soon enough after a quick search of the Public Library catalogue. So a couple books later, and I’m trying to quiet that voice in my head that says negative things about me – specifically my appearance. I’m trying to shut that down the second I notice it happening. You’re supposed to replace it with positive thoughts – you know pointing out the beautiful things about yourself. But that is a little too much for me right now.
Right now, I’m just shutting down that bitch voice that tells me I’m not enough. Baby steps. And when I can, if I can, replacing it with if not a happy positive thought, then at least something brighter or something that distracts me from dwelling on that inner critic.
Man, I gotta say it’s rough. I didn’t realize how much we criticize ourselves every single day. It’s that old idea of “Would you say this to a friend? Or your daughter?” So why the hell are we saying ti to ourselves? Who’s that helping, am I right? No one. It’s just killing our own beauty.
Okay, now I sound all preachy. But screw it! It sucks feeling shitty about how you look, and I’m so tired of feeling it and doing it to myself. I don’t want to spend the next thirty years with that voice inside me making me feel that way. So, back to the baby steps: catching that bitch when she’s harping at me and shutting her down *yes, my voice is an evil she*
Dress – Cabo Gypsy
Boots – thrifted
Necklace – Free People
Sunnies – sample from a festival