Changing others is a futile goal? You can’t change others. You can encourage behaviors, but you can’t force anyone into anything. You can however change yourself – to a certain extent, but I’m not going to get into the genetics of personality here.
“So you, with a Medici smile, becoming not A twilight personage but the danceable gloom And music of all shade, wake trailing song As in an hour of hot brilliance what Happens is a wrung memory of light And all shade is what music we have rung.” – James Merrill