I’ve gone back to “Zen and the Art of Falling in Love” as I tend to do. And I was reading the part about being the Doorman in the dojo. So the job of the Doorman was to be there. That’s all. Be there to help students if they had a question upon entering. The person just stood there, usually not saying much or doing much but just being a presence in case anyone needed help. The idea was to not force your personality on others. Not to smile and be overly welcome or chatty and thereby require the same from those entering. Not to expect them to do anything, or to put that burden on them. But just to be there, and be okay with not performing.
It’s a great little exercise that challenges you to face your inner manipulator: that idea that if you’re nice and welcoming that others have to be the same to you. It’s a secret contract you enter into, and one that is unfairly entered into as others don’t have a choice. So this exercise of just being makes you face that manipulator, and it also makes you face your own insecurity when that manipulation tactic has been taken away.
I don’t think I’m someone who falls into that, but what I like in the exercise is the challenge of just being and trusting that you’re enough, and trusting that if someone needs you they will reach out, rather than trying to anticipate. I like that.
Dress – hand me down
Top – Spell Designs
Socks – Frock Toronto
Boots – The Shoe Company
Necklace – Raw Eco Jewelry