Birthday Outfit And Feature Ad Winner

Top - AE; Sweater - Gap; Pants - Le Chateau; Boots - Locale; Bag - Matt by Matt&Nat; Ring - Lulus.com.

First off, notice the awkwardness of taking outfits shots in a crowded boxing week sale mall?  Yeah, mega awkward!  Almost as awkward as that time I was shooting a music video in downtown Toronto in a silver catsuit....

Allmost, not quite though.  Anyway, I digress.

My husband took me out for my birthday and he said that I can't get dressed up. "Jeans and a hoodie, he said.  I at least negotiated a cute sweater instead of a hoodie and cords instead of jeans.  And to be honest, I was upset that on my birthday I couldn't get all gussied up, so I decided to have my own little rebellion by doing my nails a fun and bold color.  But the shooting lesson was worth the dressing down.  Oh and I found out why he told me not to get all fancy, because you have to have your cleavage and such covered in case the shell casings fly down your shirt.  That would suck, 'cause they burn.

And here's the winner of the feature ad giveaway space for January:

Chelsea, my lady, that's you!  I have to say that even though the draw is random, I was pulling for Chelsea.  She entered everyday!  And she tweeted her heart out about it, so I did I little cheer when I saw that her comment was lucky 13!   Email me your image and link and let's get you set up ASAP.  Congrats lady!

Stay tuned for another giveaway coming in early January!

Quote of Today:

"I can't liiiive without red lipstick!"

My thought in reaction, "Really?  COD: lack of red lipstick?"

Now I Have A Machine Gun. Ho-Ho-Ho!

Husband said he had a surprise for me for my birthday. He wouldn't tell me what, only that I had some outfit restrictions. *more on that at another time*  I was wary, and a little nervous because I feared I would hate what he had planned and I would have to pretend to like it.  But he did good.

Once we dropped Baby off at the grandparents, he gave me a cd with a 'message from the future' *made by him in a distorted voice* about how the zombie apocalypse came and I had to save humanity.  So I had to continue my martial arts training with live firearms.  And that's what we did.  I learned to shoot.

Husband photoshopped my head onto a picture of Sarah Connor.

My target with the Glock 9mm.

Yes, that's a pink shotgun.

It was amazing!  I've always wanted to learn to shoot firearms, and this was a great thing for him to take me to do.  It was so natural too *kinda scary, I know*  I wasn't scared, or nervous.  Husband even said that I looked really comfortable and confident.   What I love about it is that it's so precise, there's so many minute little details to think about, and there's so much for my perfectionist brain to latch onto.  It also gave me a larger respect for the power and danger of firearms.  But what I wasn't expecting was the incredible calming nature of it.

When I had the Glock 9mm *I liked that one the best* in my hands and was aiming, it was like the whole world went away.  I was so focused on what I was doing that nothing else mattered.  There was something single-minded and calm and focused in going through a clip.  I guess that's true with anything requiring a single focus, but in this case I felt that heightened because I was dealing with something lethal so the importance of focus was even greater.

Anyway, it was amazing.  I know some people hate guns *you are right to feel however you choose - pro or anti* , and I don't advocate everyone going out and buying a gun, but I think like anything they have their place.  And me, as a woman who loves martial arts, swords, and post-apocalyptic films this is a skill that appeals to me.

Yes, we also went shopping and had a wonderful meal including an amazing chocolate torte, but this was definitely the highlight.

Quote of Today:

"They're selling the Zombie Pack!  Awesome."

Again

Cardi - Esprit; Dress - Ruche (sold out); Tights - Walmart; Boots - Locale; Bag - Matt by Matt&Nat; Belt - ??.

I don't like getting older. In fact,  I hate the prospect.  I know I should embrace it, yadda, yadda, yadda, but I don't want to get older.  I don't want to get wrinkles.  I don't want grey hair.  I don't want to have to harness my boobs to keep them up. Etc. Etc. When I do, I'll deal with it and try to age gracefully, but I don't want to get older.   I want to have my current mind but go back in time physically to 21...and stay there.

I'm thinking I might have to become an immortal, you know like the Highlander.   And the awesome bonus is that I'd have a reason to always carry a sword!  I'm a big fan of swords; I own and study several kinds.   Plus, there are thousands of ways to accessorize that trench coat he uses to hide the sword, and I could do each and every one of them! 

Yeah, I know.  It's not going to happen.  I get it.  All I'm saying is, I hate getting older.

And it's not just the physical.  I hate it because I had a very different picture of what my life would be like right now.  Some of it is better, some of it isn't.  Some of it is better than I imagine, but some of it is also worse.  I had a lot of things I wanted to achieve by a certain time.  Yes, I can still do a lot of those things, but some I can't.  Some of them have a time limit, and that's just how it is.  So I'm trying to somehow accept and embrace the reality of what is and look at all the things still ahead of me. 

But I'm having trouble.  Maybe it's a character failing, but I really feel like my twenties slipped through my grasp, like I look back and I can't even remember where they went and why things happened the way they did.

Liar, Liar

Sweater - Esprit; top - hand me down; Scarf - Old Navy; Jeans - Gap; Boots - Locale.

Someone said to me, "Blog like no one will read it."  I thought about how that's great advice.  I don't really expect anyone to read my blog, it's so sweet and amazing to me that anyone does, but I can't totally blog like no one is reading.  Trust me, I've tried.   In response, I got criticism, complaints and even hate email *I'm not even kidding*.  No, it's not that I have very outlandish or weird opinions about things, it's just that I have strong opinions about things, and I have strong thoughts about things.

And I'm honest.
That get's me in trouble. 

So, I can't blog like no one is reading, but I can blog as honestly as possible. 

And that's a challenge in itself, because we all lie.  Not consciously, or intentionally, but we all do, even to ourselves.  Actually, especially to ourselves.  We lie to make things better, to make them bearable, to sugar coat, and to rationalize things to ourselves.  I think with total and complete honesty we would all soon have a breakdown.  Sometimes you need a good lie.  Sometimes I even believe it.

p.s. two days left to enter my giveaway!  

Quote of Today:

"Honesty is for suckers."

Pre-Birthday Day

I went out today to get a little shopping done - like underwear, I don't have a lot or more specifically a lot in good shape - and also to enjoy a bit of a day to myself as a pre-birthday treat.  I ate a delicious meal out by myself while watching an episode of one of my favorite shows on my smartphone.  Then I went and rummaged through fabric stores for a few hours trying to find a few things I like.  Overall, pretty good.

While walking down an alley to cut across, I spotted this fun wall.

And of course, I couldn't get out all day by myself and not spend some of my Christmas money on a couple of expansion packs to my favorite board games. 

And the outfit posts will resume tomorrow, I promise.  In the meantime, why don't you enter my giveaway?  Just a couple days left.

And Now A Message From Drake

I got a bath.  I really don't like them, and I go a little mad afterwards....


Just a few days to enter the ModaMama birthday giveaway! Get your entries in while you can!

Merry Christmas!

Baby played with all the fabulous toys she got last night, but this one was decidedly her favorite...for now.

Honestly, I wish I knew....

Baby's very eco-conscious at even this young ripe age.

I still don't have any clothes, so I'm wearing a hand-me-down sweater I nabbed from my mama, and the icy blue scarf my sister got me for Christmas.  Isn't it lovely?

Drake the Dog pretty much pouted the whole day.  Until he got to go to the dog park, then her pouted again.

Hope you are all safe and happy!  I'm stuffed with lots of good food.  I think I might burst, then again I might just go and have some chocolate....who knows.

p.s. don't forget about the giveaway; you've got until the 29th! 

Christmas Eve

Baby loves fruit smoothies!

Me and my darling sister.

While I was busy packing everyone else - Baby, gifts, house etc.  I totally forgot my own clothes hanging on the hanger in the closet.  So all I had was my jeans, and belt, and had to raid my Mom's closet for the rest.  Necessity breeds creativity.

Sweater&Top - my Mama's; Jeans - Gap; Belt - F21; Shoes - didn't need them.

Christmas Eve dinner with my Mama and beautiful sisters!

Baby was so excited and surprised with all the gifts!

The aftermath.

Baby got this cute toque for X-mas, but didn't want to wear it, so I put it on instead.

Some Things About My Baby

Baby's got quite the daily activity list!  And she's developing some very fun likes and dislikes. 

For example, she likes to play with my boots, and shoes, and sandals. 
I feel she's going to have more pairs of shoes than I do.

Oh my!

She also loves to point out her ears, hair, nose, bellybutton, and knees.  

The knees are a recent favorite...particularly pulling up my dress/pants to show me my knees.  

Just in case I forgot where they were.

Getting us to open the trash so she can throw things away is another cute phenomenon.  

I just hope this tendency to clean up after herself sticks around.

And there's my personal favorite: cuddles with Mama.  

I'm a big fan of those myself.

And tonight?  Tonight it's present opening time.  I can't wait to see her do that!

Merry Christmas everyone!

YippyKayYay!

In case you missed it, here's the post about family traditions that I wrote for Blue Eyed Owl. 

It's the Christmas holidays: Christmas trees, twinkly lights, presents, egg nog, Die Hard, Santa...wait, What? Die Hard? That's right, Die Hard. You see my family's a little different than most.

On Christmas morning, most families open presents, play, have breakfast and maybe listen to carols. Mine? We stumble down the stairs heading for the coffee (sometimes because we had a little too much the night before), grumble something unintelligible to each other, and plunk ourselves down on the couch in front of the Tv. You see, we're Polish. For us, Christmas Eve is the big deal. That's when we have a huge (think 500 gazillion courses) dinner with free flowing vodka and wine followed by presents, inappropriate jokes (usually involving the relative who dressed up as St. Nick this year), and more of aforementioned various adult beverages. So by Christmas morning we're done. My mom, me and my sister somehow find our way onto the couch and stumble on top of each other under a thick blanket, nursing our coffees in our Pjs. Then we hit play. And the opening sequence of Die Hard starts.

Don't ask me how this little tradition started. I have no idea. But for as long as I can remember we have watched Die Hard, followed by Die Hard 2 on Christmas mornings. Only the first two though. They're the only ones that are Christmas themed. So they're the only ones we watch.

Forget “It's A Wonderful Life,” nothing says Merry Christmas to me like Bruce Willis crawling bare foot across broken glass, or Alan Rickman threatening people in a German accent.

When I got married, my Husband accepted this quirk of mine readily. He got a kick out of the fact that he's the lover and I'm the fighter. But when we spent last Christmas with his parents and I managed to coerce his very conservative parents into continuing the tradition he was very surprised, but mostly because his parents actually really enjoyed the movies.

Now that I have my own little girl, I'm going to have to curb my tradition temporarily. The movies aren't child friendly, so I'm going to have to change things up a bit. I'll be moving my Christmas Willis to the evening, after she's gone to bed...until she's old enough. Then, we'll stumble down the stairs heading for the coffee, grumble something unintelligible to each other, and plunk ourselves down on the couch in front of the Tv. You see we're Polish, so by Christmas morning we're done. My Husband, my daughter, and me will somehow find out our way to the couch and stumble on top of each other under a thick blanket, nursing our coffees in our Pjs. Then we'll hit play and the opening sequence of Die Hard will play.

Because I don't think what family traditions we have matter so much as we have families to make traditions with.

So this holiday season, from my family to yours, “Yippeekayay mother******!” (AKA Happy Holidays)

Fishnets, Aprons, And Toques

Scarf - street stand; Dress - H&M; Sweater - Esprit; Tights - F21; Boots - Locale.

Don't forget about my giveaway - you've only got until Dec. 29 - but you can enter once a day!

I said you would be seeing a lot of these boots and I did not lie!  I'm wearing them pretty much all the time since it's really cold and I'm not one to suffer for fashion like that.  Oh, and this dress is so awesome.  I wore the exact same one all the time when I was pregnant, just one size larger to accommodate the, well, the girls, and the growing belly.  Best 'maternity' gear ever!

Thanks so much you guys for the well wishes yesterday regarding my shoot.  I think I did okay.  And you know, it's so much easier when you place yourself in the hands of someone you have full confidence in, like Daniel.  He's honestly so amazing and just guides you to some great shots, so that made it a lot easier.  And well, I certainly gave the neighbors a show running around in fishnet stocking, boots and apron! I promise I will share something - even if it's just behind the scenes shots - as soon as I can.

True Story:

Just in case you didn't know, you have to wear your toque to dinner.

Telling Stories In Front Of The Camera

Cardi - H&M; Dress - Trollied Dolly from Ruche; Pin & Socks - F21; Tights - Hue; Boots - Locale.

I'm a little nervous about today.  I'm doing a shoot, where I'm the model.  That always gets me nervous.  I'm kind of always afraid I'll suck and ruin the whole thing.  You'd think I'd be okay with it considering how often I'm in front of the camera as an actress, but no.  When the camera's rolling I can move, act convey a story and emotion in a very naturalistic way.  Where as I feel it's a different skill altogether to convey a story of all that in one still picture.  But I get nervous when I'm behind the camera as well, so maybe I just get nervous period.  Either way, I'm psyching myself up for it, and trying to really relax.  I'm working with an amazing photographer, so I know I'm in good hands, and I'm incredibly thankful for that.  I'll be sure to let you guys know how it goes....and whether I fall flat on my face, 'cause you know that would be funny.

True Story:

Baby pointed at the dog's bed and asked what's that.

I told her that's Drake's bed.

She crawled in and lay down in it while smirking at the dog.

There's no length she won't go to because of jealousy.

Inappropriate Things I Say

Top - F21; Dress - Lulus; Ring - Spotted Moth; Tights - Hue; Boots - Locale.

*don't forget about my giveaway, you can enter every day until Dec 29th*

Oh goodness gracious my mouth gets me in trouble!  I'm one of those people who just says things, sometimes without thinking.   I say them because I think they're funny, or true, or odd.  But sometimes I don't realize what I'm saying until it's far too late, and I can't take it back.  I realize an hour afterwards that what I said could be totally interpreted in another way - a mean way, or inappropriate way.  And that's not where I'm coming from at all.  I don't mean anyone ill will, unless you're that idiot on the crowded bus who's shouting into his cellphone like the person is two football stadiums away. And even then, I don't wish him ill will....maybe a hemorrhoid or two. But otherwise, I very much believe in live and let live. I just wish my mouth would get on board.

Really.  Please?  Will you just once, co-operate please?

I say stupid things a lot: wise-cracks, smart ass comments, sarcasms, inappropriate examples, dirty jokes, must I go on? Things that I regret or cringe at when I'm trying to fall asleep, and wish I could take back because they were stupid, dumb, embarrassing, TMI, or really just take your pick.  I wish that I could learn to hold my tongue.  I've been on this planet a certain number of years, and I still haven't gotten the hang of it. 

I'm just thankful for the friends I have that have learned to see past this little flaw quirk of mine, and see that I'm fiercely loyal, trustworthy, dependable and well-meaning.  I have and will drop everything if a friend's in need and be there to support you if you need it.  Just ignore the things I say which might be stupid, dumb, embarrassing, TMI, or really just take your pick.

Quote of Today:

"Take the dinosaur out of your face"